JC in India

India is a land of “haves”, and “have nots”, and while that principle exists in all societies it feels more visible here. The social infrastructure is built around this spectrum probably more so than in other developed nations. The Hindu caste system also remains a real part of society, even though technically it was abolished in 1950. Simply put this system supports the notion that you are born into a caste and depending where you are on the scale dictates your opportunities in life. The low born castes basically resign themselves to being menial workers, and due to the ingrained nature of the system they seemingly don’t attempt to break out into higher roles in society. It’s tough to see at times.

Overall though this wealth divide, whether real or not, does lead to a perception that ‘people like me’ must be very wealthy. Unfortunately, that transposes into being seen as an open target for requests for money, with requests ranging from the subtlest of subtle notions, to outright large scale requests. Given the nature of my life and presence in India I’ve seen examples of this a few times over the last few months.

I have a maid (Rekha) who comes three mornings a week for about an hour each time to generally just clean, but she also washes the bedding, towels and also does the odd spot of ironing. Having such support is not really ‘me’ as I’ve always been pretty self-sufficient, but her assistance is part of the apartment agreement, and to be honest does make life a little easier for basically not a whole lot of money. The low wages people earn working these sort of roles is a norm here (she gets 4,000 rupees a month for these 3 or so hours a week which is around £40, and I’ve been told this is actually a good wage for the hours she does). As a result, there is often a very wide gulf between the earning levels of people employing these workers, and the workers themselves. Certainly it’s perceived that way even if the reality isn’t always the case.

To date my experience with my maid has created some awkwardness on occasion, with requests ranging from 30,000 rupees (about £300) to help her child attend school, down to asking for cappuccino powder when I next travel. The large request came as a bit of a shock, as 30,000 rupees is a large amount of money here – particularly so for a maid who will likely earn less than half that in a month (for a full time role). My maid actually works for a few different households, so the few hours she does for me is a small share of her earnings (I hope!). In the end I simply said that was too much and I couldn’t help. I do on occasion ‘tip’ her, which actually over the course of a month will materially supplement what she earns while working for me. That is my preferred approach – I’d rather help out where I can, rather than be seen as someone to beg from.

Interestingly following the refusal to help with the larger amount there were a few weeks where some of the jobs weren’t properly done. So it needed addressing, and it’s all sorted now but hence the awkwardness for a time. Not something you really want in your own home, but from discussions with friends here it does seem this is completely normal, and prevalent with the domestic service ‘staff’. It feels that the norm is to push the boundaries of generosity until the line is reached.

That said, I should be clear that actually my maid is very friendly and putting our little ‘situation’ aside we get on well, and I’ll do what I can to help her as often as is appropriate.

The problem here in India is that poverty is sadly rife. As I’ve said before that doesn’t necessarily translate into a bad environment as people here just get on with life to the best of their means. It does create a challenging environment to experience at times, and you can’t help everyone. But I do what I can. For example, I always tip on Uber either 25 or 50 rupees per trip (1 rupee = 1 pence approximately). The usual trip cost for me to reach the office is around 250 rupees, for up to half an hour journey. It’s just a way of supporting with that little extra, and I know that tip goes direct to the driver without an Uber overhead reduction/taxes etc.

I also have a night security guard (Pushpender) who basically spends twelve hours from 9pm-9am sitting outside in the heat of the night with mosquitoes around just making sure the apartment building is secure. He shares the role with his daytime counterpart (Vikas) who does the 9am-9pm shift.

I feel for these guys, and don’t know what they earn but you can bet it’s not a lot. It’s customary to tip these guys heavily at Diwali, and I’ll be sure to do that plus occasional other ad hoc help too. I actually bought Pushpender a fan to use, as when it started getting hotter towards the end of February I could see he was struggling and the fan also acts as a mosquito blower awayer (technical term!). The fan got delivered from Amazon (yes, that works well here), and the surprise on his face was palpable when I opened the box and then just gave it straight to him. It still makes me smile each evening if I come home late and see him sitting in front of it.

Although funnily enough my maid wasn’t impressed that I’d done this (they obviously all talk amongst themselves), saying I shouldn’t have done that. It’s surprising how these support staff seem to be in rivalry to each other – not sure I quite understand that part of the India puzzle yet.

Also whenever I come back from the shop, it’s common for Vikas to be trying to see what’s in my shopping bags – normally I’d find it slightly intrusive, but to be honest privacy is less of a thing here, so I think that’s fairly common. He’s gestured requests for beer on occasion when I come back with a 4 pack if I’ve braved the testing environment of the liquor store. I’ve played dumb to date – he speaks virtually no English, and at best we’ve used Google translate on our phones to ‘speak’ on occasion – but one day I’ll surprise him with a ‘treat’. I’d rather give when I want to, and feel it’s the right time to do so, rather than get into a routine where I give whenever I get asked. There would be a whole heap of escalation problems ahead if I started down that road!

I get it from their perspective, as I sit in my relatively nice apartment, with my laptop, iPad, Sonos speaker and all the other niceties. The Sonos speaker seems to have grabbed Rekha’s real curiosity as she’s asked me a couple of times how much it cost (that’s a thing here too – no embarrassment about asking how much you’ve spent on something). When I told her what I thought it would cost the ‘ooh expensive’ comments are hard to read – is that critical, or awe, or just ‘why spend such money on something unessential’? It’s hard to tell really, but I’m learning it’s best to just get on with life and accept the environment as it is, rather than feeling embarrassed for being one of the ‘haves’.

Some people have stuff, some people don’t. But what matters to me is to be kind and supportive. Rekha happily told me once that her friends ‘Sir’ doesn’t smile at all, but she told me she was proud to be able to tell her friend that her ‘Sir’ (me) does.

And that doesn’t cost anything. 😁