JC in India

I had intended to next publish a post about food, drink and all that is associated with that pertinent topic here in India. But events over the last few days have superseded that in terms of attention and focus. So instead I have decided to provide an update on a situation that has been going on here. And it’s fair to describe this as a story about the consequences of actions, and integrity – or in this case, lack of such…

I’ve described in previous posts about the haves and the have nots here in India. Rightly or wrongly, the culture is very much divided across people who have more, and people who have less. But, as I’ve said before that doesn’t make for a crime ridden environment, and in the main the locale is safe and most people are trustworthy, friendly, and keen to help.

However, unfortunately I’ve seen a different side of this recently. 

I have a maid, which isn’t a normal lifestyle choice for me, but here in India is the norm and she works 3 days a week for a few hours in the mornings to do the general cleaning, some ironing, laundry etc. It’s nothing major, and she doesn’t get paid a lot for her services. But it’s a salary she gets which I pay indirectly via my propery agreement. She also works for a few other people so makes a reasonable living in the context of her role in this part of the world.

In an earlier post I described how she occasionally would ask me for money, and how I’d tried to knock this on the head and deal with it by telling her that wasn’t what I would do on request. Instead on occasion I would ‘tip’ her extra to top up her earnings and help out where I could.

Recently though she has resumed her trend of asking for money, and while not to a level of begging obtusely, it’s not a comfortable environment to have in your own home – constantly getting badgered for money from someone under your own roof.

Now, admittedly this is a strange thing to write. She earns a relative pittance, and has very little in this world. I earn to a level which is outside the hand that has been dealt her, and sit here in my relative comfort, talking about her as ‘a have not’. It’s not nice, and I get it. It’s a tough hand she’s been dealt and I wish the world wasn’t that way. But it is.

There is an illustrative story I heard once of a person who was walking along a beach picking up stranded Jellyfish and throwing them back into the water. The beach was littered with thousands of Jellyfish though, and the person was asked, “Why are you doing that? There are too many to save!”. The response was simple, “Well it matters to those that I do save”…

So one school of thought is that we should help those we can as best we can. And I agree with that. Hence why I’ve given extra on occasion, and bought her the occasional gift for her family. I’m actually not as well funded as most people would think I am in my situation (I have focused too much on ‘experience’ not ‘saving’ all my life to date…), so the actual fact is I couldn’t change her world even if I wanted to. But that desire to help has now changed.

Turns out, she has been stealing from me.

A few weeks ago, I opened my wallet and thought it was short of cash. To set the context in terms of scale, a common note here in India is the 500 rupee note, which broadly translates to £5 UK pounds – so a pretty simple conversion. I usually would have around 2,000 rupees (£20) in my wallet as it’s good to have a reasonable amount of cash (in Indian terms) in the pocket just in case. However that means around 4 or so, 500 rupee notes in the wallet.

A few weeks back I was sure one was missing when I checked. Then the same situation a few weeks ago.

When thinking this through it clearly coincided with when my maid had been at the apartment in the morning while I was in the shower. 

The landscape to this is simple. I have a hallway, which has a wall stand table within, upon which I leave my wallet, keys etc. My bedroom is next to this, but due to the fact she may arrive early I leave my door closed, and the bathroom is ensuite so I do not need to come into the hall until I’m ‘up and running’ each morning.

When she first started working for me she would arrive around 9.30 each morning, which was just as I was leaving for the office (our hours here generally start around 10am). But more recently she’s been rocking up really early, not long after 8am when she could. That in itself isn’t ideal as it means she’s floating around while I’m getting ready for work, and having breakfast. But I assumed for her it was better so I tolerated it – there’s far more important problems in this world to deal with!

However, after two incidences of being suspicious I though it justifiable to test for sure if she was taking money out of my wallet. So on Sunday I counted (and photographed for my own peace of mind) the money I had, and the exact location of my wallet on the table.

And yes, sadly on Monday morning she arrived just after 8am and when I came out of my room half an hour or so later the wallet had slightly moved, and once I did finally inspect the contents there was a 500 rupee note missing. So there is absolutely no question that she had taken it from my wallet and this makes me confident the previous two occasions are also not likely to be figments of my imagination either. It also possibly explains why she started coming early before I was up and about.

Ironically on the same day this week that she took the money from my wallet, she asked me for 3,000 rupees (£30) for her daughter’s birthday and asked if I could leave it out for her on her next visit.

The sad thing is she’s actually really friendly. Ok, the work standard isn’t 100% but I’m not a perfectionist in such areas, and I’m not worried if I have to add a bit of elbow grease here and there to enhance the cleaning quality. It’s been good to be able to support somebody local, and overlook a few failings for the support she gives against the backdrop of a relatively low cost outlay.

But my perspective has now changed. I can’t tolerate being stolen from in my own home with smiles and friendliness to cover, and then still be asked for money as if nothing has happened. One could say I shouldn’t leave my wallet out in plain sight, but this is my home and I shouldn’t have to provision for theft under my own roof with someone who is supposed to be trusted with full access.

In discussions with a friend, I said she must be stupid to think I wouldn’t notice and he retorted ‘or desperate’, which made me think… It’s true, possibly she is so desperate that stealing is the only option. She has asked for money regularly, and when I’ve said no then what else is she to do? But then, she is earning in line with other people in her peer group, and that doesn’t justify stealing to increase her income.

That’s not to say I think she earns enough. She earns a relative pittance, but she does earn. And actually in India in some ways that’s a step above in the first instance.  But still, the ‘desperate’ comment makes you think.

And so what to do… Ignore it, hide the wallet going forward and watch other possessions? Or deal with it, and potentially ruin her financial standing and who knows what that would do to her? There’s no welfare here in India. If she loses her job, she’s exposed to say the least.

The added complication is I don’t really know the dynamics here in India about employment / theft / accusations and how you deal with that. Plus the extra nuance is she also is the maid for one of the executive team in my office and who is up the tree in the reporting line for me, and also of Indian origin. So I wasn’t sure how that could play out to make such an accusation.

After some thought I decided it best to discuss with him at the office, as I needed to trust the judgement of an experienced and respected local as to how to deal with this. It turns out I wasn’t alone in my concerns. He also had reservations and had experienced problems of a similar nature, albeit wasn’t specifically calling out any theft incidences.

So we’ve chosen a path and embarked upon it. We’re dealing with it, which basically means she lost her job today. I have a property manager who actually manages her agreement directly, and so it was his work to do and she won’t be coming back to the apartment again. I think he is also mortified that the situation occurred, but in fairness to him he has dealt with it quickly and decisively. 

It’s tough on her, and it’s a tough call for sure. The implications on her are potentially significant. Am I right or wrong? There’s arguments each way I know. I will carry on, and have a new maid and still live in my relative comfort. I don’t know what she will do, and her kids also. I hope she manages to find another job with someone else, and that her husband also can support her and her family (I know he works, so that is one comfort). 

I don’t want her to struggle, and I want her to be ok. The ‘stupid’ or ‘desperate’ comment really does resonate. In reality I think it’s a combination of the two, coupled with the view that us ‘expats’ have enough money and why shouldn’t it be shared around. I get it, I really do.

But there are consequences for the way you approach integrity.

Maybe it’s a clash of cultures. Maybe it’s my fault for not being more tolerant. Maybe it’s her fault for simply wanting more than she was given. Either way, it’s a sad outcome. I hope she will be ok.

This is a micro story of the macro India (and indeed the whole world to be fair). In the vast majority people are helpful, friendly and honest. In India this is wonderfully visible in many ways. But underneath that world, there is a secret undercurrent of opportunism amongst a small minority of people that will seek to exploit a weakness for benefit. 

But the true spirit of India is honesty and integrity, regardless of class and caste. Lack of such has consequences.