JC in India

After living for over a year in India, what is the new normal…?

It’s the ever present presence. The presence of people everywhere; watching, staring, interacting in often overly confident and intrusive ways. Of others it’s the warmth and the friendliness, and the willingness to help. Opposites of attitude, circumstance and people dependent.

It’s the pushing and the shoving. The lack of awareness of personal space. The seeming complete disregard for any need for privacy.

It’s queueing at Starbucks when a guy just nudges past you subtly and then just proceeds to place his order, without embarrassment at having blatantly just pushed in front of a big queue. This being a regular occurrence, with sometimes arguments ensuing, sometimes not.

It’s the workmanship which is wanting. Things not working as they should. Deliveries not living up to the description. The need to accept that it may not always be as expected. But to understand that sometimes there’s more important things in life to get upset about.

It’s sitting in the back of a car, oblivious to the terrible driving standards around you. The blindly meandering across lanes, the complete lack of courtesy for any one other road user – vehicle or pedestrian. The horns blazing, the lights on full beam – dazzling and blinding in equal measure.

It’s the cows sauntering down the middle of the road, no care for any other hinderance be it biological or machine in nature. Their steady plodding along, grazing through the litter strewn around.

It’s that litter. The ever abundant presence of it lining roads and paths, discarded at will and never seeming to be removed. Just left to rot and tarnish.

It’s the dogs, territorial in their packs. Barking warnings at passers by one day, completely ignoring them the other. Their nomadic lifestyle balanced with a need for security in numbers and at the mercy of the goodwill of some.

It’s the continual need for awareness of food hygiene, and the ever present consideration of everything consumed, questioning – now often subconsciously – the risk of every morsel.

It’s the water. The constant need to verify that it is purified, and not from the tap as we would be so used to. The standing in the shower mouth firmly shut, the nose blowing straight after to be sure none gets in that way either. The teeth brushing with a bottle, not a running tap.

It’s the work culture that sees a continual need to please the hierarchy and to seek approval. To protect one’s own interests and to survive as the fittest. 

It’s the angriness of the boss, chastising the subservient employee. It’s the employee accepting it as normal, continuing with the ‘yes sir’ and the side to side head nod of concession.

It’s the minion that runs his errands without outward question. Gathering the bag, running ahead of the senior to save such having to carry said bag himself. The minion ever seeking to be as invisible as possible, but there when needed.

It’s the tea boys who circumnavigate the office from dawn till dusk, trays aloft with coffees and teas and chais and all array of other refreshments. Waiting for orders and then waiting the order that is received as quickly as possible to avoid chastisement. Knowing a thank you and a smile is unlikely to be forthcoming from the recipient.

It’s of some complete and utter pointless bureaucracy, and an admin culture that sometimes needlessly slows down process. And a blindness to see this and to change, with some continuing in a way that doesn’t question or challenge the norm in the interests of common sense.

It’s the pollution. The burning in the lungs, and the need to at times reduce time outside to protect one’s health. The deterioration in fitness due to the effects of such, and the sadness that goes with that. 

It’s the need to avoid the pollution through incessant use of air purification wherever possible. Taking the edge off the worst of it, and at best bringing the environment to a manageable stasis.

It’s the heat in the spring and the summer, oppressive in its nature, requiring shelter and air conditioning to escape the worst of it.

It’s the cold in the winter. The nights bringing a frigid world which isn’t set up for retaining warmth. The need to power internal heaters constantly to keep warm, having to allay all thoughts of the resulting energy bill.

It’s the need to accept one’s status. To be aware that one may have more than another. To be ready for the requests for gifts, from subtle to outright in nature. And the need to decide when is right to accede those requests. And when is not.

It’s the pity in the eyes of the girl outside the car window, tap tap tapping asking for help. The dirt and poverty oozing off her without mistake. The pangs of guilt while ignoring, but wanting to help nonetheless.

It’s the need to be aware of excess, and to try and remain healthy in diet. The solitude and boredom being conducive to slacking in this out of laziness if not careful. It’s a constant repetition of rice dishes, pasta, and pizza. 

It’s the challenge to buy alcohol. The inability to buy normal beers for home consumption in Delhi, only stupid strong stuff designed for the worst of reasons. The need to travel further to make more normal purchases and the logistical planning that requires. The cognisance of duty free when travelling, and the check list of wines to bring back.

It’s the arrival at the airport, an experience second nature now, and the sensory sensations that come with it. The aroma of India on the airbridge and throughout. The bustle at immigration and the steely eyes of the customs officials.

It’s emerging into the country after the flight. It’s heading straight to the taxi counter, confident in how to handle the need, and the manner in which to present oneself to get the service, without being seen as a foreigner from whom to gain more.

It’s the departure from India, with the scrutiny of the border agents, the security checks, the ever present watching of officials. It’s the lack of fear of this now, the knowledge that it’s the norm and that really they are there to help. Despite their usual cold attitude no real risk or cause for concern exists.

It’s the looking out the aircraft window, wondering if the mountain in the distance may be Everest, because it’s not unusual anymore to be in a region where it may just be.

It’s writing a blog, trying to keep it interesting. Of being aware that it will be of interest to some and not to others. Read by some, but not by all. But continuing with the intent to record the experience in this way, for future recollections and to maybe provide assistance for others one day. Aware that sometimes it may be boring or too long, but not really worrying given I’m the target reader in the years to come.

It’s to missing home. Terribly at times. To being lonely and away from those that mean the most to me. It’s the sadness at leaving home and the joy to return. It’s the awareness though that this is a defined time here, not indefinite, and the comfort that provides.

It’s knowing I’m missing the last few years of Baileys life, as he lives out his twilight days. Never having had children he’s the closest thing I have to such. The deep sorrow this gives me will never disappear. But I know he’s happy and he’s home and that gives me comfort. My little old man. My Bailey boy.

It’s the positive attitude that makes headway against that heart ache, that loneliness. It’s embracing the challenge and making the best of the experience. To making new good friends and the joy of those companionships, savouring and sharing the adventure through the same lens.

It’s looking forward to when this experience ends and the next chapter starts. But it’s knowing I’ll be a better person for it, and knowing I’ll actually miss the lifestyle when I go. You cry when you arrive, you cry when you leave.

It’s to the novelty having worn off, and realising I’m now oblivious to most of the above. But to knowing that whenever I do look afresh at it all, it still has the power to amaze me.

It’s a country of 1.4 billion people. It’s a country of resulting bustle and strain. A country with infrastructure that is stretched but developing rapidly to cope. A country of growth and of ambition. A people with tremendous pride and loyalty to their nation.

It’s india. It’s normal.